The Green-Eyed Monster
Hides in the corners of an insecure mind and once it surfaces it can become extremely hard to control. Jealousy destroys marriages through creating a pool of anger and resentment that slowly begins to divide partners. The misery felt by spouses can be difficult to deal with, as well as the impacts to friends and family.
Jealous is an emotion within all of us that is usually tamed through trust and respect. But when jealousy gets the upper hand logical thinking tends to disappear.
Why does this emotion surface? There are many reasons but one common aspect surrounds feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Many feel they cannot trust that their partner is satisfied with only them. They feel as though they are not good enough and begin to act differently.
These individuals may take their spouse showing attention to someone else as a sign that they no longer care about them. This can cause them to begin to behave selfishly, become demanding or accuse their partner of horrible things. Sometimes this is motivated by knowing that if the roles were reversed they would not be sure they could trust theirself to resist temptation.
Trust
Trusting your partner is essential for stability and rollercoaster relationships are less likely to last – sooner or later you have to get off the ride. It is not sustainable to expect to spend every minute of every day with someone. This possessiveness is not natural. However jealous people may come to view time apart as an opportunity for their partner to stray. The resulting actions being that they can feel they must do everything possible to prevent it from happening, potentially crossing the lines of privacy and respect.
Checking up on, following or wrongly accusing your partner can lead to embarrassing situations. Denying each other the freedom to behave naturally puts a relationship under extreme stress. If you can’t act normally is likely neither of you is happy.
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Accusations can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Repeatedly accusing someone of cheating introduces the idea that they are likely to cheat. We all act in accordance with what we feel defines us. If someone becomes defined as a cheater (true or not) this can make them more likely to do just that and make prophecy come true.
Whether you choose jealousy or trust is up to you. In general showing someone trust usually means they’ll respect you for it. If someone both loves and respects you they’re not likely to do anything to hurt you. Through being trustful you can experience a happy, joyful life and relationship.
The strength of the green-eyed monster is often too much to control alone. Seek help from those close to you and consider professional guidance. The experts at Birmingham Counseling Services want to help you regain you life, get in touch at: https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/