People with low self-esteem rarely live their lies to the full. They distance themselves from others, and are thus denied love and support. They rarely, if ever, make full use of their abilities. Instead, they end up brooding about the injustices of life. Such people are a loss to themselves, their family and to society. Some of them even take to alcohol and drugs.
Invariably, people with low self-esteem are uncomfortable with success. They tend to believe that they don’t deserve success, and they have no clue as to how to savour success. At the same time, they do not hesitate to blame themselves if things go wrong. They take some kind of pleasure in telling the world that they knew things would go wrong. This is an important symptom of low self-esteem, and needs to be treated at the earliest opportunity.
People who suffer from low self-esteem also have the habit of putting themselves down. They repeatedly tell themselves that they are not good enough and that they are bound to fail. Over a period of time this negative self-talk turns into a negative self-belief. More than that, they try to implant these seeds of negativity in people around them. They also gravitate towards people who suffer from similar problems. The end result is that they feed on each other’s negativity, and become much poorer individuals than they initially were.
A high level of dissatisfaction is another indicator of low self-esteem. There are people who spend all their time complaining. They don’t see positive things in others or in themselves. This cynicism eats away their self-belief, and erodes their self-confidence. In contrast, people who value their abilities enjoy high self-esteem.
Also, people with low self-esteem can spend most of their time brooding about the past and worrying about the future. They don’t spend enough time living in the present. As a result, they don’t enjoy the present, even though it may be full of success. The net result is that they prevent themselves from enjoying life, and make themselves unhappy. It finally becomes a vicious cycle that feeds upon itself, and prevents them from breaking out of their negative mould
Such people are rarely relaxed and at ease. They keep looking for different jobs and lines of work. The reason why they are always looking for something else to do is that they lack self-confidence. They drift from one crisis to another, and blame fate for their woes.
A few of them take to alcohol, drugs, food, sex etc. to get a temporary “high”. But this rarely helps them in the long run. They fail to generate a sustainable feeling of happiness and contentment.
People with low self-esteem can also have problems getting close to others. They are not comfortable with intimacy and create barriers to prevent people from coming close to them. They don’t like to open up to people and to reveal their innermost thoughts.
They may be nursing some old bad experience with someone who caused them a lot of pain or who let them down when they were most vulnerable.
By forcing themselves to live in a world of self-denial they are doing a great damage to themselves. They fail to benefit from the company of others, and keep entrenching themselves deeper and deeper into their negative world.
To find out how Counselling, Therapy and our Workshops could help you overcome low self-esteem and build confidence in your life contact us at Birmingham Counselling Services on 0121 314 7075 or via the Contact page of this website.