Although ridiculous this is true. Divorce can only come after marriage.
Others say that living together before marriage irons out all your problems. After which surely your marriage will be perfect. Often this is sadly not the case. Kuperberg and other scientists have found that couples that live together before committing to marriage are just as likely, if not more likely, to divorce than those who don’t. Similarly, sex and money rank high on the list of causes because having too little can cause tension. Discussions before marriage can help but feelings, needs and means can change over time.
Children of divorced parents often feel they know the pitfalls to watch for and avoid. They’ve witnessed what happens when two people fall out of love, the ugly arguments, the tears and the court proceedings. Despite all this emotional expertise, couples that come from broken homes get divorced. This might result from viewing divorce as normal, rather than something they must avoid at all costs. Or perhaps their experiences might have taught them the steps to take to end a relationship over how to successfully save one.
The reasons involved when dissolving a marriage are unique. But, in general the number one common cause for divorce is a lack of communication. Especially if coupled with a lack of commitment. When no one talks issues through with each other and there is no dedication to make the marriage work, the marriage is stuck at a standstill. However, there is hope. These are issues that are easy to deal with through sitting down, being open and talking with each other respectfully.
The most difficult cause to resolve is infidelity. Trust has been broken and this is something that takes time and effort to rebuild. This is a commitment both partners must be willing to make.
For some, abuse may be a significant factor. This includes alcohol, drugs, emotional and even sexual abuse. In any of these cases its likely only professional help will prevent a divorce or the problem spiraling even further out of control. Seek help as soon as the problem begins, no one needs to struggle with this alone.
We’ve only scratched the surface here, at times marriage may feel like walking through a minefield – one wrong step and the whole thing blows up. The best way to avoid a divorce is to communicate with each other to resolve them. For more advice see our blog post ‘Communication in Marriage’ and contact Birmingham counseling services for help and advice. Get in touch at: https://birminghamcounsellingservices.co.uk/