In society, it is rare that people will talk about suicide, in particular in social situations. It is seen as a taboo subject, perhaps because it is only in recent years that it has stopped being a crime. It can make people feel uncomfortable, scared and is often a very divisive subject with people having strong opinions.
However, from personal experience if you do raise the subject of suicide, most people will have been touched in some way by issues relating to suicide. Whether this is the person themselves having felt suicidal at some point in their life, or through knowing someone that has committed suicide or made an attempt, it seems to be very common in contemporary society. In fact research conducted by the Samaritans organisation has demonstrated that in the UK suicide rates have been steadily rising over the last decade, and in particular within the male population under the age of thirty five.
In my opinion it is important to encourage people to talk about suicide and that people can feel able to openly talk about suicidal feelings they or people they know are having. However, this is easier said than done due to a number of widely held misconceptions about suicide and suicidal feelings. It is important to remember that:
- People who have suicidal thoughts are not mad, crazy or bad people
- Anyone can experience suicidal thoughts and feelings
- Suicide is not an easy way out; it is not a selfish act
- Suicide can be prevented with the right help
- Talking to someone about suicidal feelings can be a terrifying idea but can really help and perhaps prevent suicide
- The majority of people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they cannot cope with their lives and are looking for a way out. They do not want to live the life they have
So what can people do if they are feeling suicidal?
- Try and talk to someone about it, friends or family and if you don’t want it to be someone you know, you can contact a confidential service such as the Samaritans (08457 90 90 90)
- If you feel comfortable, seek advice or help with your issues from professionals. If you have mental health concerns perhaps visit your GP
What can you do if you think someone you know is feeling suicidal?
- Try and ask them directly if they are feeling suicidal. If they are then try and talk with them about their feelings, keep calm, and listen without judgment. There is no need to fix their problems – just listen
- Try to encourage them to avoid alcohol and drugs
- Keep checking in with them and asking how they are feeling
- Try to determine where they are at in their process:
- Have they attempted suicide before or self harmed regularly?
- Do they have a plan?
- How realistic is the plan?
- Talk to them about the realities of suicide; who would find them? What would they miss? Do they really want to die or do they want their issues to stop?
Suicidal thoughts and feelings can be very distressing for people and it is important to remember that there is help out there and you don’t not have to suffer alone.
– Matthew Shrine, Birmingham Counselling Services.