Death is a natural part of life – few of us will get through our lives without encountering bereavement and the pain of grief. Society does not like death and it is little talked about. When it happens, we are shocked and offended by it – even the word ‘death’ is replaced by a number of confusing euphemisms!
Oh many have good advice on what’s best for you, such as ‘time heals’, ‘get a hobby’, ‘don’t just hide yourself away’, ‘get a dog’, ‘go on holiday’ and ‘don’t talk about it all the time’. You shouldn’t be so angry, you shouldn’t cry so much it’s not good for you, why are you suffering from anxiety, why are you not working after all it is a good distraction, why are you still in your pyjamas at 2.00pm, why are you feeling guilty, suffering from depression, have such low self-esteem, seem confused, overwhelmed, betrayed, relieved or even why aren’t you crying?
Does all this sound familiar? This is all part of society’s ‘grief policing’, making sure we do it the normal, right way – not too public and for not too long!
There is no right way as grief is a natural process, although certainly no picnic. It is not governed by any time rules or actually any rules at all. Bereavement counselling can help if and when it’s what you need but above all ‘Do it Your Way’!
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