In the Client’s Chair
When I first started my course, I was excited with the content learning from theory and modalities to understanding behaviours and thought formation.
We took part in role playing scenarios and that was all quite light and comfortable, but being in the clients chair, this time not playing out the role another person but bringing me into the room, I surprised myself of how daunting the experience was.
Knowing the theory of a topic and gaining the knowledge of applying that theory to practice is one thing, but being in the client chair gave me rather a deeper sense of feelings that I had not realised I had. I felt vulnerable! But that was just what I needed to understand what it is when I’m in the opposite role and a client walks through the door.
So there I was stumped, exposed, trying to explain myself without going into too much depth, then feeling stupid that it really didn’t make any sense at all. I remember having feelings of shame of not able to articulate myself properly. Feelings of not really being able to identify with what the problem actually was, but just how I felt.
My therapist could have probably been having her own feelings and fears, but there in the room was them and I, the here and now, and the opportunity to share what was on my mind.
“Sometimes our worst fears are what others are thinking about us, when it really doesn’t matter what they are thinking, it’s what we think about ourselves that really matters and what we are prepared to do about it”
I admired the way she [my therapist trainer] was able to work with my feelings, and didn’t make me feel the way I was feeling
about myself.
Generally in life we are not taught what to do with failure, shame, grief, disappointment, and when these emotions are expressed in anger or another way, individuals can often be defined by others and by their actions more than what is going on deep down. Counselling however, works with the negative feelings we have and explores them.
The benefit of counselling is being able to sit and express without judgment, there doesn’t need to be any shame in how we feel when a crisis hits or a disappointment happens. It’s a safe place for someone to listen and aid us working through the difficulties. I remember feeling so different that I actually faced it and the relief it gave.
Reflecting back to those earlier learning moments, I can look back and smile off my inhibitions to sit in the chair. Being in the clients chair has been a great learning curve to enabling me to be the Therapist I need to be.